Monte

The CD player in my car stopped working some time last year, so in an attempt to save money, I’ve taken to listening to the radio instead of getting the CD player fixed. Before then, I hardly ever listened to the radio, but now, after over a year of listening to nothing but soft rock, pop stations, and commercials, I’m beginning to gather a list of things that I hate about radio:

First, I don’t give a fuck about HD radio. I can’t stand the radio as it is, I hardly doubt that those HD stations that are “hidden between the dial” are going to be any different than the rest of the shit they play. The only reason to buy an HD radio receiver would be for the increased sound quality, and I’m not interested in paying money to hear “Beautiful” by James Blunt for the four-hundredth time, in higher quality. No thank you. Please stop bombarding me with the HD radio ads.

Second, there are more music genres in the world besides rock, pop, country, rap, and Spanish. Please, bring back the dance station we had two years ago. Give us some electronic or new age or indie. For God’s sake, hasn’t anyone heard of Death Cab for Cutie? Trying to find interesting music on the radio is like trying to find hot salsa in a super market. They may all say “hot” on the their labels, but they’re really just the same, watered-down, pussy-mild salsa. Salsa makers are only interested in satisfying the mass market, which is comprised mainly of taste-challenged morons who buy “Pasta Anytime” because they can’t fucking boil water. I want real salsa, damn it, and I want real music!

Another thing. I hate those NBC commercials that try to disguise the announcers as radio personalities having a casual conversation. There’s four of them: three guys and one girl, all equally irritating. They come on and act like they just came back from a commercial break, and they all laugh and chat about what they’re going to be watching that evening on television. They list off shows like “Ed,” “America’s Got Talent,” “My Name is Earl,” and “Deal or No Deal,” all of which just happen to be on NBC. You’re not fooling anybody.

I’ll think of some more later.