Monte

We closed a deal with a new client today, one which specializes in marketing. I looked through some of their promotional material to get an idea of what they may want their Website to look like, and I’m afraid my retinas were severely damaged by the painfully cliché marketing jargon which included phrases like: “How about Uncle Sam buying you something for a change?” and “Who wants to make a lot more money and learn how to build their business?” and “Don’t wait! Sign up to get your FREE CD before he runs out or decides to stop giving these away.”

My favorite was a postcard which read, “We have a ‘BONUS’ waiting for you.” While the quotes around “bonus” were most likely intended for emphasis (which is grammatically incorrect), the headline instead came across as sounding sarcastic, as if by “bonus” they meant to say that they’re really going to send you a monogrammed spatula.

My boss once suggested that I study marketing—he said I have flair. I’m not sure whether that’s true, but nevertheless, as great a bullshitter as I am, I think there’s enough marketing pollution in the world. I’ll stick with Web design. At least I’m contributing something to society.