January 21st, 2007
Take this job and shove it
Until now, my job was little more than tolerable, but now, finally, the weight of the stress and long hours and frustration over delayed paychecks has caused me to consider changing jobs.
It’s easy to advise other people to leave their jobs; James has all but pleaded for me to post my résumé. It’s not easy though. I’ve been with the company now for over four years beginning my junior year in high school. Not very many companies would hire a young, inexperienced teenager on a whim, but Matthew did. He saw I had potential and decided to take the chance. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would still be working retail or waiting tables like so many other college students. Honestly, I’m thankful for what he has given me, and that’s why it’s so difficult for me to ever think of leaving, especially given the company’s current circumstances.
To say that the company isn’t doing well would be an understatement. Three people have been let go, we’re selling the hosting portion of the company to pay off debt, and my last two paychecks were delayed by over a week. Yet management wise, the company has always stayed the same: unorganized and irresponsible. I have little reason to believe that this will ever change, and I’m finally starting to realize that I cannot keep putting my faith into this company. I cannot continue working evenings and weekends while wondering if I’ll even get paid for it. I’ve been completely drained of all motivation and morale.
On the flip side of life, my relationship with James continues to become stronger by the day. My fears of us living together and committing our lives to one another have all but diminished, and just this evening at Starbucks, I looked over at him from across the table and yearned for the two of us to share a home together. I keep having this reoccurring vision of the two of us driving back to our own little apartment on a weekend night. I imagine our future bedroom, too, and I can hear James taking a shower in the next room while I lay in our bed, flipping through the television and waiting for him.
