Monte

Last night as I was pulling my car into the garage, I noticed a slight squeaking sound coming from the rear passenger side. I got out and inspected the bumper and the tire but didn’t notice anything unusual. Next, I popped the trunk and rummaged around thinking that maybe the empty Tupperware containers and school books were rattling around causing the noise. Oh, well. I’ll just clean my trunk out tomorrow evening, I thought.

Then this morning as I’m driving to work, I noticed that the car was running a little rough, but I just assumed I was due for an oil change. As traffic began to slow down before coming into Fort Worth, I noticed a new sound. A ticking. Not like a time bomb or anything, just a soft “tick”… maybe a “flick” or whatever-the-hell you want to call it.

Okay, so maybe there’s a nail in my tire. I began getting a little nervous at this point. I exited the highway and pulled into a gas station and checked the tire. I was pretty sure that the sound was coming from the rear, passenger-side, but the tire looked perfectly fine to me. It wasn’t at all flat, so I figured I’d still be able to get to work and take the car into a nearby Goodyear. I got back on the high way, and this time the sound was louder—a lot louder.

I realize now that I’m probably a dumb ass for having kept driving.

So anyway, I kept driving and actually ended up getting lost. I was so busy worrying about the car that I missed my next and now I was on some highway called 183 East in some city called Irving, and by this time what started as a “flick” or “tick” or whatever-the-hell had now turned into a banging sound that rattled the entire car.

I pulled over again, inspected the wheel, found nothing wrong, and decided to call into work and ask for directions.

To make an already long story short, I finally reached the Goodyear where I originally bought my tires and asked that they inspect them for any nails.

A few hours later I got a call from their service technician who told me that my tires were perfectly fine. The problem, however, was that my rear passenger-side tire was being held on by only two lug-nuts. Yes, two fucking lug-nuts! That’s two out of a total of five! My fucking wheel almost came off! I could have been killed!

And here’s the kicker: Driving at speeds in excess of 60 miles an hour with only two lug-nuts on your wheel can actually damage the wheel. Go figure. In fact, it can do exactly $692.64 in damage!

There really is no getting ahead in life.