Monte

It’s only been three weeks now since James left, and I’m already worried that I’m starting to forget him. I feel awful. There are some days where I’ll go almost the whole day without thinking about him, and then when he does come to my mind, I feel awful for having forgotten him. I’m sure any other normal person in my situation would constantly think about their loved one and maybe even have an occasional breakdown. I’m just weird like that. Sometimes my indifference frightens me.

The truth is, I do miss James very much, but on the other hand, I’m beginning to realize that I’m the type of person who would be okay even if he never came back. Okay, that’s a bit extreme—I’d probably be a mess for awhile.

James and I have had many discussions about this, and before he even left for France he admited that he would probably have the toughest time dealing with being apart from each other, not because I love him less but because I do better alone.

I know I sound like a cold, heartless bastard, but I do miss him. I truely do. I just want these three months to be over with already so we get on with our lives.