Monte

I woke up early to the sound of my parents screaming and decided that I would spend my day outside of the house, away from the tension.

It was a beautiful day, so I came up with a little outdoor project for myself: bike riding. But first, I had to fix my bike. For over four years, its sat abandoned in the garage with two rotting tires. I googled “fix a flat bike tire” and watched a short video on what kind of inner tubes to buy and how to take the tire apart and put it back together. I went to the store, bought the tubes (and some poinsettias for my office), and came back to the house and fixed the bike.

Fixing things makes me feel so empowered and masculine!

After I finished, I rode around my neighborhood for over an hour. Such a beautiful day. Piñatas swinging from trees; families of ducks waddling in rows; swings and seesaws; and trees shedding leaves of fire and sunlight. The beauty could have cheered even my mother up, if she had just taken the time to step outside.

It’s clear that she’s depressed. When you ask her what’s wrong, she says, “Nothing.” But then she quickly adds, “I’m just tired.” It’s funny how everybody uses “I’m tired” as a way to drop a conversation. My mother may very well be tired, but I know the real reason why she’s been acting like a jerk towards everyone today.

It’s her job. She’s 50 years old, has three degrees including a masters in business, is experienced, and yet she works at a call center.

When I asked her what was wrong earlier, she was sitting on the living room floor paying bills.

“Nothing—I’m just tired.”

But in back of her mind she was fretting over money and blaming herself.

I feel sorry for the situation she’s in—the situation my parents are in.

I wish she had been on the bike with me today.