Monte

So much for my earlier assumptions. Seeing James this afternoon spurred feelings in me that I’m now finding difficult to reconcile. There was discussion of possibly staying together under the assumption that things would be different when I move out of the house and closer to him. We’re in limbo right now as I wait for his decision.

Today at Match, we participated in a “team building” event at a nearby Dave and Busters—it turned out to be a thinly disguised happy hour. I wasn’t going to go originally; instead, I was going to stay at the office and get some work done, but when two-o’clock rolled around, the office emptied out and I was one of a handful left. Reluctantly, I went.

There was a buffet of food waiting for us at the event along with free drinks and games. Being one of the new guys at the office, I had no one to tag along with, so I ended up trailing several groups of coworkers like a lost puppy. Eventually I tried a few of the games myself—single player, of course. I did find one game that was absorbing, The Lost World, which involved shooting dinosaurs on a screen while sitting in a dark booth surround by curtains. It was like a little refuge where nobody could see how poorly I was at the game.

As out of place as I felt, I know it was the right choice. My boss came up to me, patted me on the back, and told me he was glad to see I had changed my mind. I’m beginning to learn that large companies value a team spirit—something I horribly lack. It was good that I showed up. I even had a beer like one of the guys!